haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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