I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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