I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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