I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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