I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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