He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
