I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
too bad you live with your parents still
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
