Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I fill condoms, not promises.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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