it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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