2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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