i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
