there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
