So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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