I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
