Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
