We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
