? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
