butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
