nut hugger
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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