sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
