my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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