At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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