Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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