As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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