yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
