awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
