i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
