he wants to bone in the snuggie
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
