We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
