I am puke
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you had me at cake vodka
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize