Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Damn victory sex feels great
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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