sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
