I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
