I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
