Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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