Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
