only you would photoshop your dick
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
we should paint friendship bongs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
