ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
