you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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