at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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