My underwear smells like fireworks.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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