I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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