Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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