And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize