mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
