Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
