i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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