I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
