Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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