How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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