just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
