we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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