i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
