i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
