You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
