I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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