Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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