is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
