i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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