take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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