I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize