you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
