69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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