Slut skills are useful in every country.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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